The Most Important Relationship
The only company you are guaranteed throughout the entirety of your life—immersed in every thought, decision, dream, celebration, and obstacle—is your own. The way you manage the relationship you have with yourself will determine the quality and content of your existence.
Are you proud of who you are?
What would you change about yourself?
Is the idea of trading lives with someone else enticing?
Can you confidently say that you love yourself?
Your answers matter.
Self-Talk
Self-talk—also known as your inner voice—has the potential to be your biggest fan or your most persistent critic. It helps you inquire about the world, make choices, and process your experiences.
What do you do when you make a mistake? Maybe you get frustrated as you’re reacting to what’s happened. That’s okay. But if you’re harping on it for an extended period, if you remain pessimistic and start viewing yourself as a failure, you are engaging in negative self-talk.
Why Does This Matter?
Negative self-talk can distort your overarching sense of self.
Who are you?
If your internal response is, “I’m incompetent” or “I’ll never be good enough,” you could be holding yourself back from becoming competent and good enough. You’ll stay in the box you’ve put yourself in.
This affects your confidence, self-concept, and overall mental health. It can also impact your relationships with others. If you don’t embrace your own character and company—who will?
Putting in the Work
How can you become your biggest fan?
How can you support yourself daily through your internal monologue and subconscious thoughts?
- Become aware of the things you are telling yourself. Would you speak this way to a close friend or family member?
- Reflect on the content of your thoughts. Is it true? Is there another perspective to consider? Can you reframe it?
- Journal your thoughts as you notice them. A quick, negative thought may seem less daunting—and less credible—once it’s on paper.
- Think about what you’re consuming. What’s on your social media feed? What genres of music do you listen to? How can you uplift yourself by shifting the content of these technological channels?
- Find affirmations that lift you up and align with your values. What do you want to tell yourself when you wake up in the morning? What can you write down on a post-it and keep in your car? What will you remember when you’re struggling?
Final Thoughts
You believe what you tell yourself. Whether it’s true or not, your thoughts become your reality.
Why wouldn’t you want to be gentle with yourself?
Why wouldn’t you want to wish yourself success?
Believe that you deserve the love you pour into others—and you’ll become capable of pouring that love into all areas of your life.
About the Author
Lucy Kaczmarski is an Associate Therapist and valued member of the Wellness Counseling Team, specializing in helping clients develop healthier relationships with themselves and others. With expertise in cognitive behavioral therapy and self-compassion techniques, Lucy works with individuals struggling with negative self-talk, anxiety, and self-esteem challenges in Ramsey, New Jersey and surrounding areas.
As a member of the Wellness Counseling Team, Lucy provides compassionate, evidence-based therapy services to support clients on their journey toward improved mental health and emotional wellness. She is passionate about empowering individuals to become their own biggest advocates and build the confidence needed to thrive in all areas of life.
To schedule a session with Lucy Kaczmarski or learn more about therapy services at Wellness Counseling, fill out our appointment request form or call our office. Take the first step toward building a healthier relationship with yourself and transforming your inner dialogue from critic to champion.
Resources:
📍 Ramsey | Hoboken | Montclair | Virtual Across NJ & NY
@wellnesscounselingbc
www.wellnesscounselingbc.com
