Is Your Child’s Screen Time Harming Their Mental Health — or Are We Missing the Real Issue?
We’ve all heard it: “Too much screen time is bad for kids.” Maybe you’ve even said it yourself while watching your child scroll endlessly, binge YouTube, or game late into the night.
It’s easy to assume the device is the problem. But as a therapist (and as someone who talks to parents daily), I can tell you—screens are usually just the surface.
The Screen Is the Symptom, Not the Cause
Think about it: when your child spends hours online, what’s really going on?
- Are they chatting with friends they rarely see in person?
- Escaping into games because school feels overwhelming?
- Watching videos because they’re bored and not sure what else to do?
Screens often become the go-to coping tool. They can soothe boredom, distract from anxiety, or fill the gap when a child feels disconnected. Taking the device away without understanding why they’re so attached to it can create frustration without solving the root issue.
What’s Really Going On
The kids I see who struggle most with screen time often aren’t just “addicted to their phones”—they’re craving something. Maybe it’s connection. Maybe it’s a sense of accomplishment. Maybe it’s just a safe, predictable space when the offline world feels too stressful.
When life offline feels good—when they have friends to hang out with, hobbies they enjoy, or family moments they look forward to—screen time naturally becomes just one part of their day instead of the whole thing.
A Better Conversation at Home
Instead of starting with rules and restrictions, try starting with curiosity. Ask:
- What do you love most about what you’re doing online?
- How does it make you feel?
- What would you want to do if we weren’t on screens right now?
Sometimes, the answers are surprising—and they give you clues about what your child needs more of in real life.
And yes, boundaries matter. Bedtime should be screen-free. Meals should be a chance to talk. Homework time should be focused. But when you pair those boundaries with understanding, your child feels supported, not punished.
Where Therapy Fits In
If you’re worried about how much time your child spends on screens—and what it might be covering up—therapy can help. Together, we can explore the emotions, pressures, and needs that keep them glued to devices, and build healthier habits that feel doable for the whole family.
Final Thoughts
Screens are here to stay. For many kids, they’re not just entertainment—they’re where they connect, create, and feel understood.
The goal isn’t to remove them completely—it’s to make sure your child’s offline world is rich, safe, and fulfilling enough that the screen isn’t their only source of joy.
When we focus less on fighting the device and more on understanding the person holding it, we open the door to real change.
If Screen Time Feels Like a Battle at Home…
It’s easy to feel frustrated when the screens seem to win every time. But behind most screen habits is a need—a need for connection, comfort, or escape—that deserves to be understood.
If you’re feeling stuck or unsure how to help your child find balance, know that you don’t have to figure it out on your own. At Wellness Counseling, we create a safe space for families to explore what’s really going on and to build habits that work in the real world.
Sometimes, the first step isn’t about taking the screen away—it’s about opening up the conversation.
📍 Ramsey | Hoboken | Montclair | Virtual Across NJ & NY
@wellnesscounselingbc
www.wellnesscounselingbc.com
